Hey, Netherlands: Dit smaakt slecht

My brother just got back from the Netherlands, and he brought me one of (apparently) their most popular candies. Not surprisingly, the candy is licorice-based. In my limited experience with "Old World" candies, natural flavorings are much more common that here in America. The company that produces the candy is "Oldtimers," and there are several varieties of their licorice. My brother brought me the "mildzoute" variety, which means, roughly, "mildly salted."

NOT TRUE, OLDTIMERS!!!! NOT TRUE!!!

I ate one of these candies. One. When is the last time I can say that of any candy? Possibly never. I think they must soak these things in the Dead Sea for a year or so. A herd of deer could lick on one of these for their entire lifetimes. And these are the "mildzoute."


There are, according to my brother and his Dutch friend, an extra salty variety-- for those who have just run marathons, I think. And, there are also just plain sweet ones, I think, but my brother would have gotten none of the pleasure from giving me something that just tastes good.

So, anyway, I am not trying to slam the Dutch, because I am sure that they have a rich and wonderful culture. But with the salt, Nederlanders-- back off a bit, man. You're wasting licorice here!