Saturday, October 30, 2010

Halloween's Gift: November 1st

Tonight is the de facto last chance for most people's Halloween, as the holiday falls on a Sunday, and people would rather not have to get up for work after whatever debauchery they get into. Still, I would bet that the most important event surrounding All Hallows Eve-- the reduced price Halloween candy sale-- will not happen until Monday morning.

Oh, it will be a blessed day. Spooky Snickers, Booterfingers, and Whatchamakillits, all at reduced prices! At mega-stores like Walmart, they will probably start at -25% (the bastards) but at other places, one can find giant bags of 'fun size' candies at a full 50% or greater discount! This is the season when it is prudent to stock up on chocolate. Readers know that I am more of a fruity candy celebrateur, but that is not because I do not enjoy chocolate; rather, I consider chocolate more of a food product than a candy. I mean, is a brownie candy? What about fudge? Where is the line between baked good and candy? Will the world ever know?

Come here, my pretties...

Whatever the case, I am putting aside that debate for this weekend so that I can focus on the task at hand: filling the freezer with chocolaty morsels of all kinds. As I type this story, I am planning a strict regimen of squat thrusts and 'bow throws in preparation for the early Monday AM candy grab at the local department stores. It's not exactly Black Friday or anything, but if there is one bag of peanut M&Ms on the shelf, best to believe that it could get ugly. You don't want to be caught slippin when the prize can be had.

For those still handing out candy tonight and tomorrow, yours is the kingdom of heaven, my friends. Do the good work, and it will be repaid upon you threefold.

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